Q&A with Alison Murdoch, writer, activist and facilitator
Alison is the founder and former director of the Foundation for Developing Compassion and Wisdom, a global non-profit dedicated to providing training, courses and resources on developing our core human values.
In 2007 Alison wrote a book called the 16 Guidelines for Life based on exploring and embodying values such as kindness, courage, forgiveness, aspiration. This book inspired a range of programs and facilitator training resulting in a faculty of almost 90 facilitators worldwide.
In 2018, she co-founded, with her husband Simon, a Centre in Frome called The Good Heart which is a hub for local events based on kindness. She has written a book called Bed 12 about her husband's near fatal illness and his recovery and is currently working with those in the medical profession to provide tools for mental survival and resilience, with a focus on kindness and self-compassion.
How have you been coping during lockdown?
One of the things that’s sustained me during lockdown is the upsurge of interest in kindness and the difference it can make to everyday life. I’ve watched how the word ‘kindness’ keeps popping up in shop windows, in conversations, and in the media, and how countless acts of kindness have been taking place in neighbourhoods and communities. I find that very inspiring and encouraging.
Has it had a big impact on your lifestyle and the work you do?
Both my husband and I are used to working from home so that hasn’t been much different. Our house is a lot cleaner and tidier than it ever used to be, though…
Who would your approach/work benefit – is it particularly good for those suffering with anxiety or depression?
My approach is to offer tools and strategies that help us understand ourselves better and develop our inner strength, particularly our natural capacity for kindness. This approach won’t be suitable for someone who needs a clinical intervention for depression, but can definitely help to offset anxiety. For example, one framework I use is called ‘ABC’. A stands for awareness: making sure that we regularly check up on our state of mind. B stands for finding a workable balance between the different challenges and demands we face, whether it’s as simple as deciding whether to say yes or no to a new task. C stands for community: nurturing the relationships with family, friends and colleagues that keep us afloat.
How could it help support NHS staff during/after coronavirus?
There’s plenty of evidence about how stretched NHS staff were before the pandemic started, and it’s hard to imagine how enormously tough this past year has been for them. And the pressure isn’t going to let up any time soon. So I think it’s hugely important for all of us to reach out and share any knowledge and skills we have that might be helpful to them. The time for clapping is over; now we need to offer something practical and long-term.
Can you offer any advice for anyone struggling during lockdown?
There’s a lot of scientific research about how consciously feeling grateful can help us when we’re struggling. You can try to think of three things to be grateful for in the morning, and another three at the end of the day. Many people also find it helpful to keep a gratitude diary. Focusing on even little things that are going ok or have brought us joy can make a big difference to our mood.
Why do you think there has been such a huge cultural shift towards wellness over the last few years?
For me, the cultural shift towards wellness over the last few years is linked to our increasing awareness that there are many aspects of our 21st century lifestyle that don’t support our mental and physical health. Long working hours (for those who have work), always-on social media, insecure and/or costly housing, the constant pressure to earn and spend more – we will each have our own personal list of anxieties and concerns. At the same time, I’m aware that focusing on wellness is also a sign of privilege. It indicates that at least we’re above the breadline, not just fighting for basic survival.
Can you explain your own experiences and how it has informed and inspired the work that you do now?
In the 1980s and 1990s I worked in some intense frontline situations such as running day and night shelters for homeless people in Central London, which gave me an insight into how highly motivated people can run themselves into the ground. It’s hard to set boundaries when you’re faced with people in need, and it can be tempting to see yourself as some kind of superhero who can do without rest, regular meals or even adequate sleep. I have personal experience of how difficult it can be to pause and give yourself permission to address your own needs, and also of the problems that arise if you don’t do that. Over the past 15 years I’ve been writing and leading workshops about ‘character strengths’ – the psychological ingredients of goodness in human beings. My work now focuses specifically on kindness, which I see as the core strength that enables us to lead a happy and fulfilling life.
How do you think values such as kindness, courage and self-compassion can help and support us, and NHS workers in particular, in everyday life?
In my view kindness and courage aren’t just values, they’re superpowers! Superpowers that we all have inside of us, even if they sometimes feel buried deep. And self-compassion - which can be defined as showing yourself the same kindness and care that you’d show to a good friend – is a vital step in being able to recognise and express our natural kindness and courage. There’s now plenty of evidence that kindness is good for both our mental and physical health, as well as for building and nourishing the relationships that sustain our personal and working lives. Scientific studies also demonstrate that when we’re able to show kindness to each other, it’s contagious. As Amelia Earhart said: “A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees.”
What tools does your work provide to support those in the medical profession?
What I’ve observed is that the medical training systems and institutions we have at the moment don’t always support doctors and nurses to express and nurture the extraordinary capacity for kindness that first brought them into the profession. Over the past few years I’ve been exploring how to help healthcare professionals re-connect with and strengthen this capacity for kindness – to themselves, to their patients and colleagues, and in the systems they work within. I’ve offered both one-hour introductory sessions and full-day workshops which include recent research on why self-care improves patient care, strategies for looking after yourself, practical tools and exercises, and space for discussing challenges and dilemmas. In the future I’d love to offer ‘kindness spas’ which would give stressed healthcare professionals the opportunity to get away and be pampered for a few days while exploring how to look after themselves better. I’m also interested in developing ‘kindness audits’ of healthcare settings such as surgeries and hospitals, which would involve collaborating with local staff teams to find ways of creating a kinder working environment. I’m planning to put together a team to take this work forward later in the year, and would be interested in hearing from anyone who’d like to get involved. Thank you for your interest!
You can find out more about the Foundation for Developing Compassion and Wisdom here.